x
schencka
Recollections of Self
Oh, how far is our self-perception away from the perceptions of us by others!

"You need to be more extroverted," my restaurant manager told me when I asked him what I need to do to become a server. That's true. I need more "flair," in Office Space parlance--to be more peppy. While I am probably, or surely, more outgoing than I have ever been, I'm still not inclined to strike up conversations when the situation does not demand it. Gone is my former anxiety-in-social-situations curse. I'd term myself halting but somewhat smooth. I have no problem sounding off on a subject in front of 25 young people that I teach, or a class of grad students. That's pretty extroverted for me. I'm just not inclined to partake in aimless conversation, which for many people, is an end-in-itself, a way of dealing with the loneliness of the modern world. I've never been afraid of the dark.

I wonder how much of this is physical. I'm tall, 6'2", dark and muscular (by choice). When I had long, long hair, I could tell sometimes that my appearance alone intimidated the fuck out of some people. Certainly I'm not so narcissistic as to regard other people with contempt. That possible perception seemed to hold John Kerry back in 2004. G-d grant me just a bit more charisma than he!

So, Deyo S. didn't seem too enthralled with my idea. "I'll mention it in the manager's meeting." A possible false hope. But when it comes down to it, the sheer amount of words that come out of my mouth are not that low; I talk as much as the other servers at the restaurant; say "How are you doing?" as much. But do I have an intense eye that puts some people off? I endeavor to smile more, and imagine being a holy figure that attracts others instead of repels them. Not that I do that, but geez, "Oh, how far is our self-perception away from the perceptions of us by others!"
No profanes - sacred
 
Calendar

April 2017
1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30

March 2017
1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031

January 2017
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031


Older

Recent Visitors

April 27th
google

April 26th
google

April 25th
almost23
google

April 24th
google

April 23rd
google

April 22nd
google

April 21st
google

April 20th
google

April 19th
c4fine13u22
google

April 18th
google

April 17th
google
Spread Firefox