"The truth, dear friend, is that I have lived a life dissolute, full of epicurean evils: lusty whores have kept me awake on my best eves, underlords have fed me crystals of Experience to take me away from sorrowed days, and what I considered my friends have made me lonelier than the man in the grave. O yes, I tell you: while the outward appearance shines like Heaven's Gate, the soul burns like Satan's lake of fire.
"They call me a 'hero' for my brave acts in public safety and foreign war, but never, yet never, have I been given what I seek: the kind of death appropriate for a man of my standing, contemplative of suicide, yet knowing that a man of his station could not stoop therein.
"It is true -- I have lived mine life on the edge. One day yet shall I be lucky enough for the precipice to reach me. As yet I am the coward, for only have I reached the parapet to look over meekly.
"One day, good friend, one day. Long lives are only for women, the clergy, and those unable to break free from the moribund dogma of craven generations...."