M.M. writes: I'm hoping you have some good advice for my friend, who's gotten himself into deep manure.
He has fallen really hard for a woman who says she's taken but keeps giving him missed messages. First she said she would break up with her boyfriend, so they got together, but then she changed her mind, said she wanted to remain "friends," and let her boyfriend move in with her, but still spends hours hanging out with my friend every day cuddling and kissing.
My friend is so in love with this woman that he can't see that she's treating him (and her boyfriend) extremely unfairly. He keeps making excuses for her -- "She's really torn," "It's complicated." Is there anything you could say to him to bring him to his senses? He won't take it from me, but you're an impartial outsider.
It occurs to me that contrary to your assumption that your friend is in "deep manure," in actuality your friend has found a woman with a deep throat, or at least a deep vagina, and he may be in both. Your friend has found one of these supernatural wunderkinds with a propensity for throbbing members and pouring semen. Monogamy is not her way. Have you considered that your friend realizes this? Or that the boyfriend does, too? As Wikipedia tells us, "Sex drive varies widely in humans, and what one person would consider a 'normal' sex drive might be considered excessive by some, and low by others." The threshold for when this behavior is considered a disorder is when it impairs social functioning. I don't think this threesome has reached this point yet, and I for one wish them the best in their carnal-erotic pursuits.
You, M.M., on the other hand, need some advice. Guys don't talk about their friends this way. You sound like you are worried that your friend is going to get his feelings hurt. Let him get his feelings hurt. Let the man make his mistakes with his wang. The only part you should be playing is to ensure that your friend doesn't get a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from this cum-filled wench. There's clamydia out there, and those darn genital warts, not to mention HIV/AIDS. This lust with the hypersexual woman will fade, and your friend will remember it fondly, if with some bitterness. The lust will turn to jealousy and anger, possession and obsession, and you are right, peoples' feelings will get hurt, but sometimes one's best role is to let good people get better by learning from their worst mistakes.
So this thing is complicated: the threesome, the sex, the desperate need for affection, the nymphmania. What's not complicated is your role in it. Guys don't worry about guys getting their feelings hurt. They worry about their friends getting syphilis and gonorrhea, and losing limbs and dying in combat.